Are you an unfunny comedian or an untalented musician? Do you hate women and disrespect them even after they were brutalized, sexually assaulted, and then murdered? Do you believe that vaccines cause autism? Are you open to the possibility that the Xenu story is true? Well Andy Nolch wants you!

There may not be any attendees at this upcoming festival, but that just means there won’t be any lines for the restroom and parking will be a breeze. If you’re a DJ you don’t need to worry about anyone making requests! If you’re an up and coming comedian, you will get to perform at the same event as the legendary Andy Nolch! Below are just a few examples of his award winning jokes!

And of course you’ll be the only one at the meet and greet! You’ll get unlimited access to Andy so he can tell you about the fluoride in the water and how the SJWs are destroying comedy! After all, it couldn’t be Andy destroying comedy for himself by not being funny and being kind of a dick-bag.